free stuff!

We put an ad in our local newspaper to get rid of 2 broken TV's and a broke lawn mower. For some reason we go through more TV's, lawn mowers and vacuums then 10 families put together! 

The ad reads " free lawn mover, doesn't work, reason unknown call 555-5555"

So we gets calls for it starting at 7:30 am . I am up at 5:30 so this is okay. the first call they ask if it works. ummm nooooooo. it says so in  the paper you dumb ass! but I just politely  say' no sorry it doesn't'. Then they ask whats wrong with it, do these people read the whole ad or just see the word "free" and start dialing . I tell him I don't know why it doesn't work, but its free and if he wants to come get it. He says thanks and hangs up. 2 minutes later I get another call. He needs directions , which I hate giving . I am terrible with them. but he is close by thank God. So he comes by and let me tell you he is a character! He tells me his name but says everyone calls him bogyman.  To me he looked like a small Charles Manson , which for some strange reason I am fascinated by but thats another story . He tells me his life story ,half of which I can understand, the other half he sorta mumbles but its OK, I am a stay at home mom and hearing another adult voice, audible or not , is a treat. so he gets the lawn mower and I tell him I also have 2 broke tv's . he says he may come back to get them later on.

My phone doesn't stop ringing , people wanting that free lawn mower! I answered a few of the calls but was on the verge of losing my mind . I had no idea there where so many stupid people in this town! No one reads the whole ad, they all ask if it works and whats wrong with it. I check the paper to be sure it is worded the way we asked, and it is . So I just turn the ringer off. We called to have the ad cancelled, but this morning it is still in there, 3 days of this now! I just have this thing about phones ringing, it drives me crazy, no one else in this house will check to see who it is or answer it, I must know who is calling , it drives me nuts to just sit there and wait for the answering machine to pick up. I don't know what I did before caller ID. Well bogyman calls me this morning, he fixed the lawn  mower and wants the tv's , GOOD! I am sick of looking at these big monsters. He comes and gets them and brings the lawn mower to show me his handy work. Bless his heart, I guess he is as lonely as I am. I keep his number for the next time something breaks, I bet he can fix it and wont charge me an arm and a leg!